Marlow - Swan Upping

Marking time for Swans - July 2013

The Queen's Swan Marker in Marlow Lock

HMQE owns all the mute swans on the River. Every year she gets them checked out in procedure known as Swan Upping. A small flotilla makes its way upstream in five days from Sunbury to Abingdon. The Royal Swan Uppers wear red and they are assisted by the Vintners and Dyers Livery companies. They have to row upstream in skiffs but the rowers, happily, are sustained by copious amounts of alcohol - allegedly.

Going up with the Mayor

Swan Uppers head past Bisham Abbey

'All-Up' then Circling for the catch

Heading for the bank

Cygnet ringing and weighing

On your way now

Swan Wake - no worries mute!

Marlow to Billingbear and back - 72km

Another lucky Wednesday!

After a couple of really naff wet and windy days the sky cleared to allow the sun to shine on our Wednesday ride.

A rendezvous at the Bourne End Garden Centre is, I’ve found, typically followed by a climb up Harvest Hill towards Hedsor and Burnham Beeches. So the coffee refills are followed by the coughy uphills! It certainly seems like a lung-buster on a cold November morning. Anyway, onward through the Burnham Village High Street on Market Day towards the Olympic 2012 Rowing Centre and our Thames crossing near Monkey Island. From there we passed through Fifield and headed up to Drift Road and turned left towards the Great Park. After about 2km we turned right down Winkfield Lane and traversed, on a cross-country route, towards Billingbear Golf Club where a gammon steak with chips awaited me. It looked a nice little pay and play club. There a nine hole course (£8.50) and a par 3 course. From there we headed off home via Shurlock Row, Walthan St Lawrence, Maidenhead and Cookham. To be honest, without the organised ride, I would not venture out on my bike at 09:30 on a cold November day. So it’s a good discipline as well as being great fun.

Marlow to Henley and back on a bike - 50km

Autumn cycling in the Chilterns - 20km to Henley and 30km back to Marlow

Monday morning, a cold, clear and windless day. Headed into the Chilterns. Some very plucky pheasants on the road, never seen so many. Reminds me of a tongue twister......

One smart fellow; he felt smart.

Two smart fellows; they felt smart.

Three smart fellows; they all felt smart.

Try and say it....

The leaves are just turning and the deer are rutting, it must be Autumn.

On the hill between Hambleden and Fawley

Henley on Thames

One particular Stag was making an awful din whilst chasing his herd around a field near Luxters Winery.

Met TW for lunch at the Henley Tea Rooms in Thameside, Henley. Cycled back via some really good place names, Badgemoor, Bix, Bix Bottom, Middle Assendon, Stonor, Turville Heath, Fingest and Frieth. Roads were quiet, apart from the pheasants of course. Glorius day.

A tale of two shoppers - Supermarket enforcer

One of the major adjustments you need to make in adapting to life in Austria is at the Supermarket checkout. The checkout operator is a bit different to those in the U.K. For one they are not normally seated and also, between customers, they are moving stock or stacking shelves. They are a force to be reckoned with.
In the UK, the checkout operator is sedentary and the customer sort of passes them by. The customer tends to be in control. How often do you get stuck behind someone painstakingly and neatly bagging their purchases. Only once finished, without any regard to the queue forming behind them will they dive into their over capacious handbags for 'the purse'.
The purse with a frightening array of different store cards, credit cards and debit cards. Careful sorting and selection of the correct card is followed by laborious entry of the secret Pin Code, Oh, and yes, I do want cash-back aaagh!
Now I know Mr Cameron will have a lot on his plate when he takes over, like re-instating fox-hunting and sorting the financial mess' but I have a great suggestion for his manifesto.
Supermarket proficiency testing with teams of wardens giving on the spot fines or condemning them to a remedial training .... in Austria.
Why Austria? Well, its different over there and a bit of a culture shock. We mainly go to a Billa Supermarket which is fine but dawdling at the checkout just cannot happen.

Bagging your shopping at the till? Nope, not an option, put it straight back in the trolley and sort it out over there!
Fruit and Veg. weighed at the till? No way, you have to bag, weigh it, enter the correct number on the weighing machine and print a label which you stick on the bag. Great fun, if you're 8 years old! TW found this out when she turned up at the till with loose veggies. She was taken, almost by the ear, back to the veggie stand by a particularly ferocious operator. I wouldn't say she was as frightening as Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, or the Green Witch in the Wizard of Oz but she ran them a close third. So, we figured that if we were going to eat we needed to get organised and have a strategy. We needed to operate as a team, like a Formula One tyre change. No Jacqui, you can't wander off to get a forgotten item once were in the queue! Preparation was to be the key, both of us would put the items on the conveyor. Jacqui would then position herself after the scanner to catch items and put them into a second trolley. I would concentrate on paying. Then we'd pack at leisure. Anyway, after a few hiccoughs, which included yours truly panicking and putting items into the second trolley before they had been scanned, we actually got it right. We did the checkout routine perfectly. Our adversary with a knowing up and down movement of the head gave us the ultimate accolade, 'nicht schlecht' (not bad). It was wonderful, we floated home across the park, it was like passing the driving test all over again. By the way, she's not there any more but she's left a lasting legacy.

So next time you're baulked in the queue at Tesco, tell her - you should go to Austria luv, just wait until Cameron takes over.